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RAINING
MEN?
The writer is a professional journalist with a decent income, a sense
of independence and, unfortunately some frustration. Perhaps N16 readers would like to
comment?
This is a plea from the heart - we need more single men in Stoke Newington. In fact,
scratch that, because that would be misleading. There are plenty of single men in Stokey,
hanging around the dance floor at Bar Lorca like wrestling tag teams, waiting to pounce on
unsuspecting laydees who haven’t had the presence of forethought to act like lesbians
as a form of deterrent. Or married to their pool cues in Efés. Or drinking their way
through an entire week’s wages in one night in The Old Shillelagh, all the better to
chat you up after.
What I actually mean is: we need more good-looking, trendy, solvent and interesting single
men in Stoke Newington. Where are they all? Well, obviously they eschew the cosy charms of
Stokey village for the altogether racier appeal of Islington or Hoxton, there to pick up
like-minded chicks. And this, I think, is the problem. There’s just nowhere to go in
Stoke Newington for a cool night out - there’s nowhere to pull.
The nearest we’ve got to a trendy pub is The Tup, but even that’s useless for
pulling - no-one talks to you. In fact, I’ve started to suspect that The Tup is just
a cunning respelling of The Tube - it’s just like the Underground. Everyone’s
eyes flick over you appraisingly when you come in, then return to whatever they were doing
and endeavour to avoid yours for the rest of the time in there.
If we had just one decent bar, serving groovy cocktails and playing good music until 1 or
2am, think, girls (and boys - don’t want to be prejudiced here), just think of the
totty that would come surging into the area. It’s making me feel quite light-headed
just imagining it.
Now, there will be those among you who will ask, quite rightly, why I don’t just
follow those lovely lads down to lslington and Old Street, to hang out at The Embassy or
Herbal and find myself said bloke? I have. But I like going out on my doorstep. I like the
fact that I can go out for an evening without having to worry about getting back
afterwards, particularly as I’m limited to the options of bus or taxi by Hackney
Marshes’ Tube-resisting spongeyness.
And why shouldn’t we have a cool DJ-type bar in Stokey? We’ve got the best
restaurants and even a smattering of cool clothes shops. It’s time to stand up to the
overwhelming mass of couples in this town and speak up for us singletons. We need
somewhere to go and pull! Maybe those lovely Redman boys could start a club?
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