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 Apparently there is firm geological evidence that about 200 million
years ago dinosaurs roamed London Fields, just down the road from Hackney Town Hall.
Someone who seems to have been around since those early times is Joe Lobenstein, the
one-man dynasty of Hackney politics.
Everything, however good, has to end sometime and Joe has finally bowed out as Mayor of
our fair borough. The ceremony that saw him replaced by Saleem Siddiqui of the
Labour Party (who has been Mayor once before) should have been a fairly polite affair but
as this is Hackney things didn’t quite turn out that way.
The Lib Dems proposed Councillor Hettie Peters, the Greens spoke up for Deputy Mayor Laz
Olefero, who would have been Labour’s choice last year, had they not decided to back
Tory Joe. This year Laz again declined, although the reason was unclear. Saleem beat
Hettie by 28 votes to 21.
This didn’t please a chap wearing the sort of flat cap worn by men driving Range
Rovers across country fields. ‘Now they’re hoist with their own petard!’ he
bellowed from the Tory benches. He was obviously suffering from a bad case of foot in
mouth. His colleagues looked as though they would cheerfully nominate him for the next
cull.
Votes of thanks to Joe were moved and seconded, although the Lib Dems seemed to be
speaking through gritted teeth, probably due to his party’s recent alliance with
Labour.
Suddenly, there was a roaring and crashing that cracked the permafrost beneath the Town
Hall. Hettie Peters, unsuccessful mayoral candidate, charged into the discussion.
Magnificently incomprehensible, the Hettasaurus attacked with fury and scorn. Some phrases
and half-sentences filtered through: ‘No need for any of you
you think you are gods ... Martin Luther King ... I have no dreams... I don’t give a
toss ... Nelson Mandela in jail ... Sierra Leone, Rwanda, we never discuss them ... how
low we have sunk!’ Faced with such measured criticism, her intended prey stared at
the ceiling or floor. None dared roll their eyes.
At last, Joe was on his feet and again included his friends ‘Mr and Mrs Hackney’
in his thanks. Has anyone ever met this lovely couple? Where do they live? Do they eat
chicken tikka masala? This is Britain’s national dish, according to Robin Cook. Do
they have children - possibly teenage Hackneys on the streets rabbitting into their mobile
phones? We shall never know.
He ended with a witty flourish, and maybe a tiny hint of envy, by revealing that he was
not the UK’s longest serving mayor; that record was held by one Anthony Jennings who
held office in a town in Kent from 1785 to 1830 - a total of 45 years.
To an outsider, the whole exercise did point to one obvious conclusion -
that the people of Hackney should be able to elect their Mayor directly through the ballot
box.
There was some time left for a bit of ‘normal’ business. This meant that the
gloves were off again. After years of stalemate, Labour now has an overall majority
(thanks
to the absence of the two fraudulent councillors - one Tory and one Lib Dem - who are
detained elsewhere) and Jules Pipe is the Leader of the Council. He now assumes
a more confident posture and uses wit rather than abuse to put down his opponents.
It’s quite effective.
Tory leader Eric Ollerenshaw accused the Greens of peddling filth in North Defoe ward.
Filth? The Greens? Surely they would scoop it up with their bare hands and deposit it on
the nearest organic compost heap. No, he was referring to leaflets in a previous election.
This was angrily denied by Chit Chong who, in turn, struck a killer blow at Labour for
their scandalous failure to provide sufficient bicycle racks in the borough. He also made
an obscure reference to ‘the dustbin of history’. Was this the legendary dustbin
of Hackney that used to be collected and emptied regularly?
Andrew Bridgewater, new leader of the Lib Dems, introduced a religious aspect. He said
that his party would fight to ensure that orthodox Jewish schools received public funding.
Currently they were victims of ‘social exclusion’. This pious note cut no ice
with the other participants and the arguments banged on until the agenda was completed.
The new Mayor, the Councillors and their invited guests then adjourned for wine and
sandwiches.
Now that one party is in charge, if only narrowly, could it herald the dawn of a modern
era in Hackney? Will it be the end of prehistoric politics?
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