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p14
I'm no stranger to the grape and grain. 'Fleet Street' after all is not
synonymous with abstinence. At university I was also introduced, along with 2 million
others, to more exotic ways of getting Off Yer Face. Truth is, 1973 is a bit of a blur.
Physical fragility, matemal responsibilities and the remorseless grind of
maturity have curbed my instinctual habits to the bone. Still, I'm not one to dial 999
should the odd splitt be passed around a Stokey pine table apres manger. But how
would I feel if my daughter started skinning up, locking the bedroom door, eating me out
of house and home after an afternoon in Clissold Park and, big clue this, playing Stairway
to Heaven on a continuous loop? Answer. Beside myself, she's only eight.
But the old Wacky Backy is endemic in N16, its constituency is getting younger and many
parents of my acquaintance, used to rolling a major stonker of a sunny Bank Holiday
evening, are facing the uncomfortable sight of their 12- and 13-year-old kids reeling in
wearing daft grins with eyeballs the shade of Route 73's paintwork.
Simple enough if you're a card-carrying fundamentalist in East Cheam. Beat to a pulp, hurl
in cellar and throwaway the key. But a Stokey liberal weaned on the stuff, who thought
this ticklish issue wouldn't raise its head until Amy or Josh was at least knocking on 16?
When you and your partner could exchange knowing toothless smiles. 'Call that a spliff
son? In my day we only needed two Rizlas and we had change for a joss stick.'
I've seen N16 parents literally squirming over this one. Tortured between their personal
beliefs, occasional habits and the welfare of their children. A child's development and
schooling versus the ultimate Stokey crime, a heinous charge of reactionary hypocrisy. I'm
certainly not out for Mother of the Year but I'm an old fashioned gal when it comes to
kids. Set routines, regular bedtimes, No means bloody No and this is why. Which includes
laying it firmly on the line that dope fuddles your brain.
OK, we all know it's not the Devil's drug of choice but it's not a Holland and Barrett
herb either, Smoking anything is carcinogenic, Blow lures you into fag addiction and,
let's not delude ourselves here folks, it flatlines your thinking for a good 24 hours, You
think you're on the ball next day, but you're not, But in N16 it's all too often 'Bless
you, my child. I think you'll find the orange ones stick better,' To be fair, my stricken
pals mostly take the line, 'We'd rather they did it here with their mates where we can
keep an eye on them, And naturally it's weekends only,' But where does it stop? Next thing
you know you're scoring for them because you're having nightmares about where they might
be going to get the stuff, 'Yeah, sure Sue... ' come back when she's 13... we'll have the
Valium on ice', they snigger.
Hopefully, by then I should be safely tucked up in the Twilight Home for Confused Hacks,
In the meantime, you can't do it in my house until you're older full stop and I'll
chop your pocket money if you toddle in blitzed, If they move out, either there's more
wrong chez vous than dope or perhaps it's addictive after all,
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125 Stoke Newington Church Street
N16 0UH
tel:020 7923 7488
Saturday Lunch 12.30 - 4.30
Sunday 12.30 -11.30
Every Evening 6.30 - 11.30
Beautiful garden open during the summer
Function Room available for Hire
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The Fox
Reformed
Wine Bar
Learn the real stuff, meet
soulmates, make friends, impress the boss, confuse your enemies, embarrass your
colleagues,
bore your partner! Join FRILLS the Fox Reformed Imbibing and Low Life Society
and enjoy
- FRILLS card 10%
- discount on wines purchased by the
bottle
- Superb wine tastings
- Wine at cost price
- Best backgammon in the UK
- Monthly book reading club
- Discount at selected shops
- AA rosette food
£30 a year
176 Stoke Newington Church Street,
London N16 0JL Phone/fax on 020 7254 5975
Website: www.fox-reformed.co.uk
Email: robbie@fox-reformed.co.uk
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