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p8
Sue Heal is on holiday but has left her after ego to fill her space. Caroline
Newly-Arrived writes to her old school friend.
Dearest lmogen,
Long time no speak, as they say. When was it now ? 1994 at Fergal and Fiona's wedding just
after your darling Rupert lost his job at Malaysian First National.
I honestly didn't see you stood right in front of me saying 'Hello Caroline, How are you?'
You know, I simply haven't the heart to blank anyone, especially not when we shared dorm
feasts at St Agatha's. Anyway, water under the Ponte Vecchio as they say. Which brings me
neatly to my missive. Summer has arrived in Stoke Newington (more of our abode later) and
I shall absolutely die if the children and I don't decamp to more salubrious climes.
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I've heard via the Aggies Old Girls' grapevine that you're now living in a small Tuscan
village above Florence (opting out of the ratrace bless you for your courage darling). As
Justin has to spend the hols covering his arse at work - I don't understand but something
about the DTI being called in, he's been looking mightily shifty of late - I thought I'd
pop over for a few weeks. Harriet and Jasper have the the usual 2 months off.
Since we last spoke we've moved to London N16. Suffice it to say it was an experiment
which has gone rudely wrong. Despite all our efforts the bedraggled old couple with the
net curtains are still in a vertical position next door. She persists in giving Harriet
these awful sweets with enough E numbers to set Robbie Williams flying for a night out. I
naturally post them back through the letterbox sharpish but such subtlety is lost on the
locals round here.
They do have this sweet little Festival here end of June. Justin and I were fingers
crossed for a few sub Glyndebourne evenings in Clissold Park with the bubbly basket and a
decent aria or two. Instead it was non-stop ethnic twirling, living sculptures and mime
artistes who obviously hadn't seen the inside of a power shower for months.
Harriet whinged incessantly about joining in with the children's activities in Abney Park
(a Cemetery would you believe!) but I told her most firmly that she wasn't going to
anything FREE. I'd never hold my head up at the school gates again. To top it all off
there's a nasty little rag round here called N16 Magazine, full of information the likes
of thee and me would rather not know, who organised a caterwauling musical Fringe Weekend.
The types it attracted defy even my powers of description.
No sooner had we dusted ourselves off from that mayhem than Turkey managed to win a few
rounds in the dreaded World Cup. Local corner shop owners and restaurateurs went
completely berserk and we couldn't get the Volvo out of the road for two whole days. We
even made the TV news and Justin's mother rang up from Stow on the Wold completely
hysterical thinking we'd all been murdered in our beds.
I thought my
one glimmer of hope amidst such dross would be the eventual opening of the new leisure
centre in Clissold Road. But when I popped in to book a quick colonic irrigation they
treated me as if I'd gone mad. I've told Justin in no uncertain terms that I want OUT even
if it does mean surviving without a utility room. His only reaction has been to hit the
Glenfiddich like a man possessed and mutter darkly about 'downsizing completely and lucky
if we have any roof over our heads come the Autumn.' Men. Honestly. If he thinks that's
going to put me off beetling round the estate agents of Crouch End then he's very sadly
mistaken.
Oh, I nearly forgot. The children and I shall be arriving at Pisa Airport on July 30th
Alitalia 361. Arrives 4.30 am your time I'm afraid, everything else was booked solid We'll
look out for your car. I've had the two Scotties vaccinated so no need to need to fret
ourselves about Rabies. Thank The Lord.
I shall be bringing Rustina (our Albanian au pair) essential with two children in tow, but
don't worry about sleeping arrangements for her. She'll bed down in the outhouse. She been
through much worse than that I can assure you. Such a brave hardy race don't you think -
personally, I'm full of admiration.
Can't wait to catch up. Lots of hugs, Caroline |
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