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Back to Schooldays
Rowson's Comment
Around the Block
News in Brief
Stop the War
Mini-march
Lysistrata Day
Fringe Festival
Straight to the Point
Time to Finnish
Day in the Nick
Starting Over
Readers Letters
Herbal Cleansing
Local Music
Tripping Out
Tippling at the Tup
Property
Housing Matters
Very Testi
Art Happenings
Vietnamese Food
Entertainment
Gardening
Marathon Man
Surfing N16
Man in North Bank
Xword
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Lady Muck from somewhere drippingly rural descended on us for a
brief, disdainful visit a few weeks ago, thankfully without her labrador, so The Lady Who
Lunches felt obliged to invite her along with The Husband to share an evening meal with us
at a local Turkish restaurant Testi. I mean, what with foot and mouth and set-aside, we
assumed that the poor dear had already spent most of her massive EU farming subsidy on
badger-baiting essentials, so we were watching her taxpayer funded pennies on her behalf.
And yours.
The restaurant itself is unprepossessing but blessedly spacious - you don't have to listen
to the latest focus group findings from an adjoining table if you don't want to.
Lady M queried the presence of what appeared to be handbags hanging from the ceiling, but
appeared to enjoy the décor (well, everything's colourful to people who live in the
middle of sodden fields, isn't it?), while the attentive maitre d', perhaps sensing her
rustic origins, did his very best to bring a rather alarming blush to her already ruddy
cheeks.
Obviously a surfeit of fresh air
(aka gale force winds) keeps our country cousins in a state of permanent hunger, as Lady M
set to with relish - or perhaps she just mistook the delicious mezes for the main meal? We sampled a superior humus, tried two types of bread - pide and the
thinner, unleavened lavas, both delicious - and crunched through the barbunya pilaki
(haricot beans with carrots, tomatoes, green peppers and olive oil), partlican soslu
'sasuka' (prompting a pigletlike squeal of delight from Lady M), ispanak tarator (spinach,
garlic and yoghurt) and haloumi straight from the grill. Then crispy little Turkish
pizzas, splattered with lemon juice, which could have been a small but perfectly formed
meal in themselves.
Imagine Lady M's surprise when the main courses arrived…She'd chosen the patlica
(aubergine) kebab rather than the lambs testicles which I'd more or less assumed she'd go
for, and having worked them over, and pronounced them perhaps a little dry and a touch too
spicy, proceeded to help herself to generous bowlfuls of my own vast iskender kebab. The
Husband wolfed his lambchops in silence (as you do, when dining with Ladies Who Talk Too
Much). We discovered that our rather scrumptious salad came with its own little side
salad, a happy touch which kept Lady M grazing happily while we finished off the robust
take-no-prisoners Koc Yumurtasi Buzbag house red, at a reasonable £9.
Then, a novelty: the special house salad - which sounded rather dull, to be frank, in
menu-speak: 'cooked onion with sauce' - but was, our waiter assured us, otherwise known as
Turkish Viagra. As Lady M sampled the roast onions in lemon, pomegranate juice and
'special herbs', a strange glint in her eye, I began to fear for the safety of some of the
younger staff. My only hope was to distract her with pudding - a suggestion she yelped at,
and was soon nose deep in rice pudding infused with vanilla essence and lemon zest, and a
delicious shredded wheat, honey and pistachio concoction.
Problem visitors - and joking - apart, the menu at Testi offers one of the best ranges of
Turkish standards in the area, and a good choice of more unusual dishes that are well
worth sampling. It goes without saying that it's excellent value - and well worth a visit,
with or without a country cousin.
Testi, 30 Stoke Newington High Street, 020 7249 7151
