You’ve been living in Stoke Newington for a couple of years now. You’ve
stopped trekking into the West End in the evening. Invitations south of the river are
politely declined. Even Angel is starting to seem ‘hectic’. Some of your friends
look glazed when you begin to talk. You may be becoming a Stoke bore. Here are the signs
to watch out for:
• You’ve ditched your perfectly sensible trainers for a pair of open-toed
Birkenstocks.
• You regularly tell people how ‘wonderful’ it is to live without a tube
nearby.
• You have acquired a nerdlike expertise on buses and bus routes, and can debate the
pros and cons of the 393, 476 and 73 until your companions have tears in their eyes.
• Your wallet contains appointment cards with massage therapists, herbalists and yoga
teachers.
• You can’t be bothered to book mini-breaks abroad: it’s far easier to loll
about in Clissold Park.
• The sight of hippyish parents with pushchairs in Fresh and Wild fills you with a
warm feeling.
• You toyed with the idea of getting involved in the Stoke Newington Festival.
• The fate of different shops and restaurants on Stoke Newington Church Street is a
subject of endless fascination to you.
How to cure yourself:
• Spend a Saturday in Notting Hill Gate, or if you’re feeling really daring,
Chelsea.
The glossy shops, chic little cafés, beautifully manicured squares and easy transport
will leave you sick with envy and jolt you back to reality:
Hackney is horrid.
• Start buying the Daily Telegraph and the Spectator. Enjoy the looks of outrage from
fellow travellers on the 73 bus as you rustle through the pages.
• Visit a third-world country. On return, ponder the fact that many of the streets
around your home don’t really look that different.
rowson’s comment
Martin Rowson has been voted Political Cartoonist of the Year for the
second year in succession.
Congratulations, Martin! |
