Since Issue 27 of N16 Magazine, much of the national and international press in which the words Stoke and Newington juxtapose has included the names of former resident Ibraham Muktar Said, whom I believe recently moved to Belmarsh, South London, and Diane Abbott, who apparently is still very much in our midst.

In fact, the right honourable member for Hackney North & Stoke Newington seems to be ploughing two fertile furrows at present. One week she's one of the 49ers who, according to the Scotsman have caused our Tony's '3115 day reign to unravel', the next, she's telling the Independent that if she had three wishes she'd plump for being a 'best-selling author', being 'able to play the piano beautifully' and having 'the height and physique of a willowy Somalian beauty'. She has also opined on Mrs T's legacy at 80, and 40 years of civil rights and social inclusion. All very commendable stuff, but what about the roadworks? But perhaps her days as a rent-a-quote MP are numbered. According to the The Times, she has lost her mobile.

The good people of N16 do seem to make excellent pulp for the weekend supplements. Apart from the usual travel pieces in which 30-something N16ers discuss the need for 'a well-run kids' club for Maisie' (Sunday Times), there was: -'My Week' by a local Radio 1 DJ in the Daily Telegraph who apparently spends his Friday afternoons drinking 1990 Chateau Lafite Rothchild in Shoreditch. Nice work if you can get it! 

-The 'youthful British editor of National Enquirer' in the Observer who 'has traded his 3-storey period house in ST NE for a spacious loft apartment in New York's SO HO'. -The freelance organ builder in The Times who apparently also maintains 'the largest one in the UK'. -The chief executive of a major publishing empire in the Independent who 'prefers to take public transport from his home in Stoke Newington'. It can only be hoped that he takes the 'seventy free' as the tabloid hacks have dubbed it and not the No 393 on which, according to the Daily Mirror, a woman 'was taken captive by the angry driver after she asked him to stop using his mobile at the wheel'. It's all a far cry from the 1950s when, according to government papers made public last month, a chap called Joe Coral was 'for a bookmaker in Stoke Newington. not a bad sort of fellow' (Sunday Times).

Church Street was accorded its usual press inches. At one end of the main artery, William Pattern School saw lengthy articles from both The Times and the Telegraph concerning the laudable scheme of 'sending restaurant chefs into school kitchens in a bid to improve meals and educate young palate'. This should ensure every under-10 in the area demands all the family provisions are sourced from Fresh & Wild. Everyone's favourite supermarket came in for a light joshing from Liz Jones in the Evening Standard who was unimpressed by 'a woman who decided to survive a week shopping only at Tesco.. That's what most people do for the entirety of their lives'. Her challenge was to shop at F&W, proudly she announced 'her bill came to £167.83. and I have two meals'. 

At the other end of the street near Clissold Park the press had a mini frenzy over the plight of a 16-year-old who was dropped in a dustbin by a local bobby for allegedly being cheeky. 'You've Bin Nicked' screamed the Daily Star, whereas the rest of the Fleet Street's finest seemed undecided on the rights and mainly wrongs of the incident. N16 crime stories were rather thin on the ground. In point of fact, we're very white collar round here these days. Excluding the 17-year-old reported in the Daily Mail whose family came from Stoke Newington who admitted to 15 burglaries and asked for 1,396 other offences to be taken into consideration. It was a 'Forged Bus Ticket Racket' (Evening Standard) and a FSA warning about an unauthorised investment firm 'that is believed to have promised returns of 10% a month but spent the money on spread-betting' (Guardian) that were picked up on.

I'm sad to report that Blinglish has crept over the border. 'Grep' and 'Munter' came 'hot off the lips' of a Stoke Newington girl interviewed in Central London by the Independent On Sunday. No, I haven't a clue either!

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