Come January 2006, the cash fare on London's buses will rocket to £1.50 - a staggering 50 per cent increase on the January 2005 price. On the other hand, if you buy into the Oyster system, you'll be able to travel at a 'reduced' price, which, being something around the £1.20 it is at the moment, can hardly be promoted as a bargain.

If Big Brother Ken wants to encourage people to use public transport, he should start worrying about their pockets rather than his own - in other words, cheap fares whatever the means of payment. In my ignorance I thought that the Congestion Charge was going to give cheaper and more efficient buses. Well, tell that to the crushed victims inside a 73 Bendy at the current rip-off price (to say nothing of those poor sods who nurse broken collar-bones and bent bike frames while the driver drives on, blissfully unaware of the drama).

So what's the reason for all this jiggery-pokery? Big Brother tells us he wants to create a 'cashless transport network', explaining that it will protect transport staff from the threat of violent robbery. Fine, but that still doesn't explain the daylight robbery of a 50 per cent fare increase for those amongst us who can't afford plastic money or simply don't want to use it. Frankly, I don't think it's anyone's business to attempt to determine the manner in which I make financial transactions, and - what's more - it's my view that jacking up the cash price for what is supposed to be a public service doesn't serve the public. 'Oh, get real', I hear you say, but first that's because you can probably afford to use plastic, and secondly, because you don't mind living in an increasingly computer controlled reality. If I want to be electronically tagged, I'll get an implant. For the time being, if I choose to take a bus ride, I'd prefer to do so without Big Brother watching me.

Concerned by this potential infringement of basic freedoms, I rang Transport for London and was helpfully informed by a housetrained representative that 'Oyster data would only be held for 8 weeks', which means that should the authorities (whoever they are) want to know where you've been and when, they will with consummate ease be able to find out and, if they think fit, process the data onto a system that doesn't suffer an 8-week sell-by date. The man from TfL responded by suggesting that I was being a touch paranoid, but I made the point that, as everything appears arse about face in Blair's Britain, I'd lost faith in that old tenet of being innocent until proven guilty. Paranoid? Just listen to this.

A few months ago, I booked a couple of rail tickets to that well known centre of terrorist activities Exeter. I was after a weekend break from my even better-known terrorist activities in Stokey, attempting to stop avaricious landlords from destroying the cultural heritage of Church Street being my most recent public exercise. If you want to know the results, check out MiddaCentric's plans for the old Vortex and tell me about terrorism, the kind that is well financed, well suited and is given the cosy euphemism of 'business'. It's the same, if bigger story, in Iraq. War against Terrorism? Well, given that he's the globe's most powerful terrorist, why doesn't Bush do us all a favour and drop the big bombs on himself? No, it's a War for Oil - and let's not forget it.

Anyway - back to the main story.

For reasons known only to them, the Post Office had recently allocated my postcode of over 20 years standing to a small and probably dodgy business enterprise a couple of blocks away and, despite having given them my full address, the rail operators decided to send my tickets to them (DodgyDoings Ltd), which, according to the computers, was my 'correct' address. It wasn't the first time that this had happened, but in the past 'DodgyDoings' had simply forwarded tickets to me.

This time, however, they got it into their heads that I was involved in some fraudulent activity, and sent the tickets back to the rail operators with a cover note suggesting that I might be a threat to decent, law abiding society (I've always hoped that I am, but this was stretching the point). The rail operators then called in the Special Crime Squad (the same bastards who several years back attempted to kill me by knocking me off my bike, but managed only to hospitalise me and to ensure that not a day goes by without me suffering bodily pain. I see it as a subtle reminder of the power of the state).

Under Blair 's 'Prevention of Terrorism Act' the 'Specials' were not only able to gain access to the extensive files held by MI5 and MI6 in my various names, but also to the considerably less than extensive bank accounts held in two of them. Of course they found nothing: I was as as broke as ever (being Stokey's disgruntled anarchist is not the most profitable activity on Earth).

So yes, once it had become evident that my business affairs were on a par with the average Big Issue vendor, and that I hadn't of late been in contact with Al Qaida, I got my tickets and, because the train was so heavily overbooked, stood all the way to Exeter. Needless to say, there was no customer refund for gross discomfort. And while we're about it, how is it that passengers have now become 'customers'? Is it that in the eyes of the authorities we're all seen as dodgy customers?

'Dodgy passenger' just doesn't seem to have the same ring to it. I guess it all started with Thatcher's 'enemy within' and has rolled out, like a stone gathering moss (and dog shit) down Parliament Hill ever since. If you're not terrorised by the Prevention of Terrorism Act, it hasn't achieved its aim: oppressive social control for the benefit of oppressive social controllers, and never mind the rucksacks. Remember: Acts speak louder than words, so get in line.

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