Most of my friends listen to Radio 4’s ‘Puzzle Panel’. We need the mental as well as the physical exercise, and it is no coincidence that bridge and scrabble are played by many a nonagenarian. 

The late London bridge expert Boris Schapiro won a World Championship at the age of 89! The ‘Puzzles and Games for Active Minds’ seminars I held at London’s Mary Ward Centre attracted students of all ages, but none was over 85. Indeed, the ages of the youngest and oldest students were both prime numbers and their difference was a perfect square. In my peculiar way I noticed that after their next birthdays the sum of their ages will be a perfect square. Now, you do not need any more clues, do you …

Chris Maslanka, who chairs the Puzzle Panel, shares my love of anagrams. ‘Tory in Lab’ is the one I like for our leader. ‘The Shameful Operations’ is a most natural anagram for ‘Houses of Parliament’. And one of the most famous crossword clues was by the incomparable John Graham (Araucaria): ‘Poetical scene has surprisingly chaste Lord Archer vegetating’ (3, 3, 8, 12)’. The answer is at the end, for those that have not seen this before.

Crosswords come in all shapes and sizes. Very few can make inroads on Azed without a Chambers Dictionary, the standard reference work for the crosswords in the broadsheets. The ingenuity of the composer knows no bounds. The most pleasing clues break the normal rules, but in an acceptable way. ‘Threat, perhaps, perceived by Alice (3,6)’ was a clue for Mad Hatter, where the anagram indicator is in the solution. Other crosswords have some unusual feature, such as missing letters, or the ‘Printer’s devilry’ type, where a word has been left out of a sensible sentence to make a slightly quaint expression, sometimes changing the punctuation, and the reader is invite to find that word. For example, ‘Nanny gives kid a blanket if it’s a billy (4)’ might be a clue for ‘Itch’, the word that the printer’s devil has removed from the correct and more logical sentence ‘Nanny gives kid a blanket if it’s a bit chilly’. Readers might like to try and ?nd the missing word in ‘Bunter whine starts with jaw open, “Cease! Condone! Wharton, please!” (7)’ Don’t forget that punctuation and word endings can be changed!

On the Puzzle Panel we try to have a mix of word and number problems, but we also have logic problems. The problems that are simple to present are the best – we do not want our listeners in cars reaching for pen and paper whilst holding the steering wheel! ‘Which fourletter sport begins with a T?’ is ideal for radio, even if the answer does get groans from our fellow panelists. And we like problems with a catch. How do you make the following equation correct by adding just one straight line: 5 + 5 + 5 = 550?

The best puzzle is one that it easy to explain, tough to solve, and yet the solution seems simple once you see it. A room has three light bulbs and three switches outside, up a small flight of stairs. You do not know which switch controls which light. How can you establish this, entering the room once only?

Solutions

- The two students were aged 67 and 31. Their difference is 36. After their next birthdays the sum of their ages will be 100.

- ‘The Old Vicarage, Grantchester’ is a surprising anagram of ‘chaste Lord Archer vegetating’. Many consider this the best crossword clue of all time.

- Mrs B Jarman submitted this clever clue for the word MINARET. The correct sentence should read: ‘Bunter whines: Tarts with jaM IN ARE Two pence! A second one, Wharton, please!

- The four-letter sport beginning with a T is golf. Consider how it sounds on the radio…

- To correct the equation, join the left hand extremity of the first (or second) plus sign with the top extremity to make the equation 545 + 5 = 550

- Turn on two lights at the switches. Wait a minute or two. Turn off one switch. Enter the room. The switch that is down will be the light that is on. The switch you turned off will be the light bulb that is off but still hot!

Paul Lamford is the author of a dozen books on games, puzzles and probability, including 50 Crossword Puzzles (Carlton), He is a member of the Radio 4 Puzzle Panel and is also N16 Magazine’s long-time crossword composer.

View from the Lane 
By Nick Griffiths

I managed to coincide the North London derby with my wedding day. Chuffed or what. So the plan was to begin my speech: ‘Today is the happiest day of my life… we beat the Arsenal!’ – because the signs were there – to roars of approval from an admirable Spurs contingent, and a black grimace from the bride.

It would have been worth it. We last won that fixture in 1999, 2-1, with goals from Iversen and Sherwood. Yes, Sherwood. Last season, of course, was that 4-5 seesaw goal-fest, which we lost. It would have been worth it, and for 77 minutes it looked like happening. But it wasn’t to be. You could Sellotape Pires’s feet to his nose and still he’d score against us.

In a season of sparked promise and the resulting delirious happiness, that is one major concern: that we won’t quite do it.  That we won’t manage a decent FA Cup run. (We certainly didn’t manage a decent Carling Cup run. Jesus.) That we’ll just miss out on a place in Europe – and there are Spurs fans who will be thinking Champions League not just Uefa. That… actually, there isn’t a third one.

We’re playing well. Those games either side of the derby: we dominated the second halves of both Man United and Bolton, after going one down to a bundled goal at Old Trafford and, as Martin Jol put it, a ‘sort of “Sunday shot” out of nothing’ at the Reebok, after which we were subsequently robbed of a legitimate equaliser. We’re passing with confidence, pressurising opponents, playing like a team – all fairly new to us. In those, Edgar Davids’ influence cannot be underestimated. He may not have scored, but his commitment and his physicality have been an inspiration. ‘We are still at the beginning of an adventure with a young squad’, said Ed recently. ‘Everything is possible and for me that is really exciting. We must stay consistent and keep picking up points.
What is important is that the guys are open to ideas and ready to improve.’

It was reported recently that Aaron Lennon, on the back of several impressive displays, has been offered a new contract, worth £8,000 a week. The lad is 18 years old. There is one certainty: if we don’t quite do it this season, it will happen. And sooner rather than later. Having missed the meeting at the Lane, I’m actually looking forward to Saturday 22 April, when we play at Highbury. Such fearlessness alone is a measure of how far we have come under Martin Jol. Admittedly, I might trouser some Sellotape. Might work. You never know.

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