Guilt-Free
By Thamasin Marsh
Spring. Odes about daffodils dancing in the breeze, green shoots breaking the soil, pulled by Ra’s golden rays from the clutches of Morpheus.
If this is your experience of your garden in Spring, well done. The rest of us forgot to plant spring bulbs in October, to clean up after the last evening barbeque snatched from the Indian summer, and to retrieve last season’s expensive (and now uncool) toy from the far corner. If this sounds familiar, then chances are you also forgot to do the winter pruning, to mulch with organic matter, or to cater for wildlife, except your own beloved pets, which have torn or shat your lawn to tatters. In short, you’re riddled with gardener’s guilt.
This year I’m banning guilt. We have become a culture of guilt; inevitably one is the wrong size and shape, has the wrong carbon footprint, and wastes the Earth’s precious recourses. Stop right there, get a grip. The best advice I can give you is to enjoy shamelessly whatever kind of plot, garden, balcony you have.
Grab any partner, children, friends you can muster and invite them to a clear-up. I resort to bribery, and have in the past organised large afternoon teas, with scones, sticky cakes, juice for children and cases of cold beer for flagging men. Make a day of it. Install an unhealthy level of competition, lavish with praise and get it done.
Tug out weeds that are easily identifiable and ignore green shoots that aren’t, until you are sure of their nature. Cut back any obvious deadwood, move wrongly placed plants. Wash paving and patios with warm water containing a good slosh of vinegar (not the best balsamic), and a scrubbing brush. Pour salt along joins in the paving stones to deter weeds, at least temporarily. Wash down, mend and store garden furniture. Stack up pots, giving them a good scrub first in hot soapy water (a loo-brush works well).
Accept with grace that your press-ganged labourers will spread mud through the house. What you now have is a clean-ish slate and – if you have bribed and praised well – a workforce that’s proud of itself and potentially involved for the future.
Now for the rest of the guilt. Hackney Council provide brown wheelie-bins or paper bags for garden-waste, subsidised compost-bins and wormeries for the serious, or blue bins for kitchen-waste, which is composted and used in our parks. Decide which is appropriate for you, but be realistic. Kids are fascinated by worms, but may be for only a few weeks: lapsed good intentions become guilt, and the whole cycle starts again. When (not if) we get another hosepipe ban, be prepared: invest in a bathwater siphoning kit called a Droughtbuster from www.OrganicCatalogue.com to use your grey water.
Birds can be fed with hanging seed balls; a few plants, such as the invincible buddleia, feed butterflies. Include a space in the garden or window box for children or yourself to grow food such as climbing beans and tomatoes. The issue of food-miles is equally valid for plants: avoid superstores and buy locally from growers where possible. Plant or buy yourself at least one glorious over-the-top treat. Let go of the shame. This year’s gardening is going to be fun. Personally I’m looking for a solar powered mini-fridge for my organic Chablis to go next to my garden seat so I can appreciate my toil at the end of the day. Guilt -free.
Thamasin Marsh runs The Pleasure Gardens, a design company whose aim is to put the pleasure back into gardens.
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