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A motley and bleary collection of Stoke Newington hackers
assembled early on a chilly February morning at the Hatfield London Country Club to
contest that glittering sporting prize the annual N16 And Tup Golfing Challenge.
N16 Publisher Rab 'Tiger' MacWilliam and Tup landlord Karl 'Golden Bear' Lenden-Hitchcock
teed off first to sweep the frost off the greens, followed at irregular intervals by
groups of sprightly, Pringle-jerseyed low handicappers and increasingly hapless and
bedraggled 28-handicappers. There was also a fair sprinkling of brave entrants who had
never held a golf club in their lives before, but who nonetheless enthusiastically whacked
and sclaffed their way round. The ankle-deep mud proved something of an obstacle to
progress, particularly on the steep, uphill par-5s, but most people survived the
tournament with clubs and tempers intact. It was not an event for the sensitive, however,
with muffled oaths and curses drifting across the course as yet another ball plugged in
the sodden fairway or disappeared into a waterlogged bunker.
As the competition wore on, with the divots beginning to travel farther than the balls,
weariness set in, but the sunny weather and the occasional half-decent shot kept spirits
up. Back in the clubhouse, and in keeping with the tournament's gourmet reputation, the
bacon and chips and Guinness were of the highest quality. As the scorecards were counted,
the lowest scorers appeared to be Richard and Karen Scriven from the Rochester Castle,
until it was pointed out that they hadn't got any further than the 9th hole.
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Karen receiving the Dogged Determination award from
Karl to contest that glittering sporting prize, the annual N16 And Tup Golfing Challenge. |
And so to the prize-giving, held that evening courtesy of the Islington
Tup. Obviously, Karl won. Mates of Karl won 'longest drive', 'nearest the pin' and even
'best-dressed golfer'. Suspicious, so far? However, Rab redressed the balance with a
special award for losing more balls than anyone else. Roger Taylor, who manages to be the
drummer for Queen as well as helping to run Metal Crumble, collected Novice of the Year.
And Karen won in the Dogged Determination category, as well as gaining an honourable
mention for pissing off the greenkeeper. The qualifying rounds for what has been
re-christened the Stoke Newington Masters commence in July. Contact Karl for details. It's
the most fun you can have with your golf shoes on. Well, perhaps not...
N16 magazine would like to thank Massive, owners of the Tup chain, for all their support
and encouragement in staging the golf day and providing the prizes.
Top six books at the Stoke Newington Bookshop, 159
Stoke Newington High Street are:
1. Map of Love. Ahdaf Soueif. Bloomsbury. £6.99
2. Our Fathers. Andrew O'Hagan. Faber. £6.99
3. Illustrated Mum. Jacqueline Wilson. Corgi. £3.99
4. Rodinsky's Room. Rachel Lichtenstein & Iain Sinclair. Granta. £8.99
5. Pokemon Collector's Sticker Book. Maria S. Barbo. Scholastic. £3.99
6. The Ground Beneath Her Feet. Salmon Rushdie. Vintage. £6.99 |
The
top six video rentals at the Film Shop, 177 Church Street, are:
1. All About My Mother
2. Go
3. American Pie
4. Beautiful People
5. The Mummy
6. Simple Plan |
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