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A Very Personal Message from Stoke NewingtonThe New Extremely Expensive Conservatory, Dear Relatives, Friends and Roger’s Useful Colleagues, Yuletide Greetings! Welcome to our annual end of year recyclable round-up chronicling the family’s litany of achievements in this latest Annus Ambiticus 2000. Once again profuse apologies for the photocopy but since Roger was made A Partner (more of that gem anon !) our Christmas list has risen to migraine inducing proportions. The poor Latvian au pair has been dragging sacks to Stamford Hill Sorting Office all week. It’ll be just my luck if she puts her back out before the big Holloway Road Waitrose run. That’s if any of us are allowed in the People Carrier again, of course. As you’ve probably heard we’ve had to cancel the converted oasthouse near Lyme Regis over New Year since The Army moved in to N16. It’s an awful bore but absolutely no-one is allowed to breach the exclusion zone until there are no new cases of Ebola. The rats finally took over the binbags last month and since then people have been dropping like flies the length and breadth of Church Street. You can’t step outside the house without donning a retro gas mask and full protective clothing Clissold House is now a converted mortuary and I spend half my day spraying Charlie’s three-wheeled buggy with industrial strength Warfarin. I had to step over two decomposing corpses outside Helsinki yesterday (but I don’t think it was anyone we actually knew) AND there was nothing quite right inside to wear for Roger’s firm’s ‘do.’ I’m afraid I totally lost it this morning when Patsy, our dear cleaner, rang to say her husband had. ‘kicked the bucket’ overnight. I know she was upset but she’d already had two days off in August for the hysterectomy. She’s spoilt rotten by those bloody social workers next door, quite frankly. You know the type, bought the house donkey’s years ago when they were going for2 and 6 round here, she’s got the most God Awful perm, the kids can barely write their own names but know every Chechnian (sic) Freedom Song in the book. But Nil Desperandum. Roger’s star shines ever more brightly. Georgia’s on route for City Of London Girls’ with some serious welly from her and my toe firmly inserted in her rectum. A half decent restaurant has just opened round the corner which isn’t 57 varieties of curry and a subsequent night driving the porcelain bus. Best of all, the old couple with the horrible net curtains at the end of the road were the first epidemic victims to drop off the perch and their house is up for sale. The entire place will have to be gutted of course and a team of slaves and artisans drafted in prontissimo. And I speak as one who’s just endured 4 months of making tea with 26 sugars for men in cheap ill-fitting jeans. But it’s an absolute snip at £500K. Fingers crossed all round that it’ll be more People Like Us who can share the dreaded school run. All the Best for 2001. Masses of Hugs. Caroline. Caroline Newly-Arrived was talking to journalist Sue Heal.
The 2001 Stoke Newington Festival is already taking shape and looks sure to be better than ever. Back with a new format, we intend to bring you the very best in contemporary art and entertainment over four weekends in June. The Street Festival, on 10 June 2001, is going to go through a few little changes next year, as it seems to have become too crowded for many. We are going to relieve the pressure on Church Street by moving music stages, stalls and the like into Clissold Park. Don’t worry though, the street will still be closed to traffic and will host art commissions and walkabout performances, as well as the usual culinary delights provided by our fine eateries. We hope this will create a more pleasurable experience for all on ‘Street Festival day. The remainder of the festival will take place over the following three weekends and events will be concentrated into one venue for each weekend. The Festival Village (16-17 June) in Clissold Park will feature all of the Children’s events, Camp Out 2001 and the Festival Dance. Likewise, over the next weekend (22-24 June), Abney Park will host a range of art commissions, music and performance in our beautiful cemetery. The festival’s final weekend (30 June-1 July) will hopefully see the return of the Indian Festival and will also feature our Skateboard Festival in Clissold Park. If you would like to propose artwork, an event or a performance to take place as part of the festival please get in touch with Fiona Fieber on 020 8356 6410 or fiona@stokenewingtonfestival.co.uk Please note that the deadline for applications is 31 January 2001. Finally, did everyone in Stoke Newington realise what was happening in Clissold Park during the last festival? Parklight, our over-night art exhibition in the park, featured Turner Prize 2000 shortlist artist Tomoko Takahashi, whose work is currently being displayed in the Tate Britain. The main image used to represent her work in both the Turner catalogue and on a poster is none other than ‘Tennis Court Piece’ from Parklight! Parklight catalogues featuring sketch drawings of ‘Tennis Court Piece’ by Tomoko are available from the festival for £3. Email info@stokenewingtonfestival.co.uk if you are interested in getting hold of one. See you next year...
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